


drunk on jealousy

by softambrollins



Category: Professional Wrestling
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Attraction, Awkward Conversations, Bisexuality, Blow Jobs, Desire, Fantasizing, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, Jealousy, Love Confessions, Lust, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Watching, mentions of casual sex with other people, set sometime during the original shield run pre-breakup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:13:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26259955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softambrollins/pseuds/softambrollins
Summary: Dean gives him that familiar look that says,I know you, and he fuckinghatesit. But he doesn't think he can really get out of this one this time. And maybe he doesn't really want to. Something about watching him tonight at the bar and the quiet in the car when it'sneverthat quiet between them and Dean seeing right through him even in his inebriated state right now makes him feel that something's already changed whether they wanted it or not and there's no going back from this.He takes a deep breath, then swallows hard."I think… I think I was jealous," Seth tells him quietly.Seth watches Dean with someone else at a bar and it sparks some feelings that he's kept buried for a long time.
Relationships: Dean Ambrose | Jon Moxley/Other(s), Dean Ambrose | Jon Moxley/Seth Rollins | Tyler Black
Comments: 1
Kudos: 37





	drunk on jealousy

Seth knows he should stop staring but he can't seem to tear his eyes away from what's happening on the other side of the bar. Dean had taken off after they had one drink to play the field, with a roguish grin and a blow pop inexplicably dangling from between his lips, giving him a wink and telling him, "Wish me luck." Seth had just shaken his head exasperatedly, too used to this by now, but he's been tracking the action anyway while pretending to nurse his beer. 

Dean's wearing his trademark faded blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt under his leather jacket and he seems to be channeling his namesake even more than usual tonight. His hair's messy but in a cool, effortlessly tousled kind of way, strands falling artfully into his blue eyes, he has more scruff on his jaw and cheeks than usual which makes him look older and rugged in a good way, there's a cigarette tucked behind his ear that had replaced the blow pop and his earring's glinting under the lights and he's magnetic and glowing and stupidly charming and it's so unfair, honestly. 

Seth's been watching him chat up this one girl for at least half an hour now. She doesn't look much different than Dean's usual fare in joints like this, pretty enough and good for light conversation but obviously not looking for anything more than a casual hookup, wearing a little black dress that hits right below her ass and that shows a generous but tasteful amount of cleavage. His eyes have followed them from where he was pressed up behind her at the pool table, instructing her how best to make a corner shot to the far corner of the bar where they are now, tangled together against the wall, her hands under his jacket, his hands clinging to all her curves through her skin-tight dress. As he watches, Dean buries his head into her neck, his face hidden by a curtain of her thick, dark hair. It feels obscene just looking at it from a distance. It makes something go all funny in his stomach, and in other places too. He can't remember the last time he felt so turned-on and also physically sick at the same time and he wonders if something's deeply wrong with him.

When he thinks it's gone on too long, he huffs a sigh and gets up off his stool, leaves his beer that's practically untouched and probably long gone warm, and quickly strides across the room. Dean only barely detaches himself to look up at him as he approaches.

He holds the keys to their rental out towards him, trying not to look too closely at either of them or the disarray they've made of each other. "I'm gonna take a cab back to the hotel," he tells him flatly. He assumes Dean's gonna end up going back to her place or hotel room or maybe just the back of their car (which he really doesn't want to think about) and they're not gonna see him until he turns up sometime after midday tomorrow, looking wrecked but happy.

But then he says, out of nowhere, "Wait, I'll come with you."

Seth just raises his eyebrows at him skeptically.

Dean turns around to say, "See ya around," as casual as anything to the girl and to her credit, she doesn't look too bothered anyway. He figures it's hard to ever really be mad at Dean Ambrose, even if you only just met him, even if sometimes you wanna strangle him with your bare hands. 

Seth gives her the politest, tight-lipped smile he can muster and she stalks off back in the direction of the bar. He doesn't even look at Dean as he readjusts his jacket properly back onto his shoulders and unsuccessfully tries to smooth out his hair. He definitely does not think about helping him, reaching out and just brushing the hair out of his eyes when he looks so unguarded and touchable. And then Seth just turns and heads to the exit and Dean follows him.

They don't talk in the car at all. Seth just keeps his eyes on the road in front of him and doesn't even risk a glance across at Dean. The worst part is that he's not even mad at him. He _wishes_ he could be fucking angry at Dean, especially right now, but rationally he knows he didn't do anything wrong. So instead, he just feels shitty and guilty and terrible for reasons he can't even explain and part of him thinks that maybe Dean will be able to see all of that even if he so much as looks at him now. But it's not his fault, so he's not gonna burden him with any of this. He doesn't deserve it. He deserves better than Seth and his useless fucking _feelings_ and his inability to ever just admit to himself what he really wants even when it makes him fucking miserable and ends up ruining everything good in his life. And Dean's the _best_ thing in his life, so he'd rather die than ever hurt him.

*

Roman has a single tonight because he'd said he just wanted some peace and quiet for once and to Facetime the fam and watch half of a dumb action flick without having to put up with any of their shenanigans before turning in early. "Don't get arrested because I promise I'm not gonna pick up the phone this time," he'd said with a wide smile before they left for the bar, shutting the door in their faces, the Do Not Disturb sign clearly specifically meant for just the two of them. 

When they get back to their room, Seth just locks the door behind them, turns the lights on, rests the keys down on his bedside table, shrugs his jacket off. He looks up and Dean's just standing there in the space in front of the beds, right between the two of them, hands in his jacket pockets, facing away from him towards the window, like he's not in a rush to change or go to bed or anything. Like he's far away and lost in thought. Maybe it's just the alcohol still clouding his head. Or maybe it's something else entirely. Every time he thinks there's nothing more to learn about Dean, he always finds a way to catch him off-guard.

"You okay?" Seth eventually asks, walking around to the foot of his bed, and then sitting down on the edge of the mattress closest to him.

Dean turns around slowly to look at him. He nods, like he's been snapped back to reality all at once, running a careless hand through his hair. He takes a few steps backwards and then sinks down on the nearest corner of his own bed too, nothing more than a foot or two of space between them but it feels a lot further for some reason. "Yeah. Just a long night, I guess."

"You could've stayed if you wanted, you know," Seth says offhandedly. "Didn't have to come back with me."

"Nah, it's okay," Dean says dismissively. "Roman's not around for you to hang out with so…"

Before he can just bite his tongue and swallow them down, the words fall out of his mouth. "So, are you gonna see her again?" 

"What?" Dean says, looking across at him, eyebrows knitting together like he doesn't even know what he's talking about.

"The girl at the bar? You gonna see her again?" he asks tonelessly, shoulders slumped over, toying absently with the corner of the comforter instead of looking at Dean.

Then, he glances up out of the corner of his eye to gauge his reaction.

Dean shrugs like it hasn't even crossed his mind, like it's already a long way in the past. "I don't know. Maybe. It's whatever."

"You didn't get her number or anything? Because it looked like you were having a good time." And okay, maybe it's hard to hide the tinge of bitterness in his voice now.

Dean doesn't seem to hear it though. Maybe he's still too drunk to really notice what's wrong.

"Yeah, I guess. But I don't know. She was just some girl —"

But then he just stops, his gaze flicking up to Seth's face.

"Wait, you were _watching_ us?" Dean says, finally meeting his eyes fixedly, his own wide with surprise. And something else too. Almost _intrigued_. And _fuck_ , maybe he didn't actually drink as much as Seth thought.

"What? _No_ , I just —" Seth starts to protest.

Dean laughs. "Didn't know you were into _watching_ , Rollins," he teases, and he almost sounds impressed now.

Seth rolls his eyes. "Shut up. I was _not_ — I was just bored. Because you left me alone. Again. Like you do all the time." He knows how defensive he sounds but he honestly doesn't care. It's Dean being the inconsiderate one here, not _him_.

Dean just looks amused.

"You know, it's okay if you were. Guess I just don't know you as well as I thought. But it's _me_. I'm not gonna judge you or anything. Anything you've done, I've probably done a million things worse. You obviously brought it up for a reason."

Dean gives him that familiar look that says, _I know you_ , and he fucking _hates_ it. But he doesn't think he can really get out of this one this time. And maybe he doesn't really want to. Something about watching him tonight at the bar and the quiet in the car when it's _never_ that quiet between them and Dean seeing right through him even in his inebriated state right now makes him feel that something's already changed whether they wanted it or not and there's no going back from this.

He takes a deep breath, then swallows hard.

"I think… I think I was jealous," Seth tells him quietly. 

And it feels like a relief, like a heavy weight's been lifted off of him. Like he can finally let go of this terrible, aching feeling he's been holding onto for so long, that just buries itself deeper and deeper inside his chest every single day, gnawing away at pieces of him, that just _hurts and hurts_ without any ease. But he can barely look at him either, feeling like a fucking sixteen-year-old loser with a crush way out of his league again, wishing that he would just fucking die right now.

Dean's mouth falls open comically. "Oh, _shit_. I didn't know she was your type, man. You should've said something —" 

"No, that's not what I meant," he tells him quickly, looking up at him significantly now.

Seth just sees his entire face change all at once, the waves of surprise and disbelief and then realisation washing over his features. He blinks at him a few times. " _Oh_ ," he says hollowly. And he suddenly looks completely lucid and sober. Which is better maybe. If he has to actually fucking say this shit, he needs to know that Dean's really hearing him.

"Yeah," Seth murmurs.

" _Fuck_ , man. Seriously?" Dean asks breathlessly.

"Yeah," Seth says again, firmer.

"How long?" he says, sounding dazed now.

"I don't know. Maybe the whole time," Seth tells him honestly. "I always get pissed off when you ditch me for some one night stand but I thought it was just because of you blowing me off and not because I —" He lets out a breath. "I guess I just think too much about things to really ever know what I want." 

"So you're sure?" Dean asks evenly.

Seth nods. "Is that okay?" he asks, looking right up into his eyes.

"What? You being into me?" Dean asks, confused.

"Yeah. Is it weird?" Seth says, biting his lip, feeling deeply embarrassed now. He wonders if he's just ruined this irreparably and if everything's going to be awkward and uncomfortable between them forever and Dean's never gonna look at him the same way ever again. And maybe he should've just shut his big, dumb mouth. Kept his selfish, foolish desires to himself. Maybe he can just take it all back, pretend it was all just an elaborate joke — 

"Why? Because you're a dude? Or because it's _you_?" Dean says, narrowing his eyes at him, almost in concern.

"I don't know," Seth bursts out, slightly frantically. " _Both_. Either."

Dean's pretty equal-opportunity when it comes to hooking up, though. A hot piece of ass is a hot piece of ass, as he says. Seth's definitely seen him sneaking off to the bathroom with some hot guy in tow a handful of times, not as inconspicuously as he probably thinks, and coming back to the bar later all sweaty and breathless and dishevelled with marks all over his neck. He doesn't know if that makes it better, because Dean's into guys too, or _worse_ , because he never picked Seth anyway.

Dean shakes his head. "The _dude_ part doesn't bother me. Obviously. The _you_ part — I don't know, I just wish you told me sooner."

"Really?" Seth asks, trying his hardest to rein in his hopes.

"Yeah. You know I had a huge fucking thing for you back when we first met, right?" Dean says, matter-of-factly.

It's like a jolt to the heart. 

"What?" Seth says, almost falling right off the bed and onto the carpet. And he can't even begin to fucking believe this. He feels himself rise to his feet without registering deciding to, fingers grasping at the edge of the mattress to keep his balance because everything about this feels like his whole world's been knocked sideways. He turns and gingerly takes a step over to where Dean's sitting, and Dean gets up in turn and meets him there when he's almost within touching distance.

"Yeah," Dean affirms, and there's nothing but truth in his eyes and he almost can't breathe. "I always thought you were fucking hot. And then I got to know you and you were smart and funny and kind of a snarky asshole and kind of a sentimental cornball and everything I wanted… And I don't know, I guess I just always thought I wasn't good enough for you or something."

"What? You're not serious," he blurts out. And his head's spinning and he feels like he's going crazy now. Seth's never met anyone like Dean before. Someone so bright and loud and _alive_ and messy and complicated and _impossible_. Seth felt like he was a shadow compared to him, and he was terrified that he wouldn't ever know what to do with his intense but fragile love. He'd just waste it.

"Well, you never made a move so…" Dean trails off.

"Everything was just happening so fast. I didn't want to fuck it up. The Shield. All our fucking _dreams_ finally coming true…" He almost wants to laugh at the sheer absurdity. He can't believe that they've both been so monumentally fucking stupid.

"Yeah, I know," Dean says seriously, like he really understands. "So why are you telling me now?" 

"I just — Thinking about you with other people, _seeing_ you with other people, even if it's just casual and doesn't mean anything — it made me feel wretched and awful and I _hated_ it. And I don't think that was fair to you. I just wanted to be honest with you," he says, his voice cracking a little bit. 

"So what do you want?" Dean asks, looking at him unblinkingly, eyes soft and earnest, and somehow _this_ is what really feels like everything he ever wanted coming to life.

"I don't know. I'm just so tired of thinking about shit. The future. What everything means." He steps forward again and slowly reaches his hand out and takes Dean's in his own, squeezes it, gentle but firm. And then he meets his gaze. "I just want this. With you. Right now."

"Okay," he agrees at once.

The just stay there for a long time, just looking at each other, like it's the first time ever, and Dean has this warm, content look on his face and Seth's trying so hard not to start smiling like an idiot, and he can feel the heat from his skin on his own and Dean's body so close to him feels more right than anything in the world.

"Can I kiss you?" Seth finally says, because he thinks he might die if he doesn't for a second longer.

"Yeah. Go for it," Dean tells him with a faint smile. And then he closes his eyes, his face completely relaxed and untroubled, taking deep, even breaths. And it's so different from how Dean is all the time, always the instigator, always making the first move. He knows what he wants and he goes after it. He's always in complete control of everything, of his own destruction, of his own destiny. But it's like he _trusts_ Seth. And Seth just wants to give Dean whatever he wants, he wants him to be happy, wants to be the one to make him happy, and he doesn't ever want to hurt him or throw away all the trust and faith he's placed in his hands. He doesn't know if he'll ever really deserve it.

He slowly disentangles his hand from Dean's and curls it into the front of his shirt instead, the other travelling up behind him and burying his fingers deep into the back of his soft hair that he's been itching to touch like this all night, for months, and he gently pulls him in until their lips touch. Seth opens his mouth slightly and just brushes soft kisses over Dean's lips, feeling his stubble on his own lips, the light friction making them tingle pleasantly.

Dean puts his hands on his face then and pulls him even closer, tilting his head to fit them together properly, making the kiss harder and more heated. Seth gasps against his mouth, sliding his arms around his waist and up under his shirt, fingers seeking the curves and muscles of his body, craving the soft parts and the sharp edges, everything that makes him who he is. Dean catches his bottom lip between his teeth and then slowly licks along the seam of his mouth until Seth sucks his tongue into his mouth, intertwining with his own, hot and filthy, both of them hungry for more, for everything.

And he doesn't taste like that girl, or like anyone else, he just tastes like _Dean_. The way he always imagined he would. Smoke and whiskey and candy and something indescribable like pure need and raw longing and furious desire. It lights something on fire inside of him too. Something that's already been on a low simmer for a long time.

He slides his hands down to fit his palms around Dean's ass through his jeans and pulls him closer, hips rolling against hips, and Seth moans into his mouth as their erections graze against each other.

Dean feels it too from the way his body responds, shivering against him, a tiny hitch in his breath, and he moves his hands down from Seth's face, fingers carefully but deliberately tracing over the lines of his neck, his collarbones, his chest through his thin t-shirt, over his abs until they're skimming over the waistband of his jeans.

"What do you want?" he says, breath hot against his ear.

"I want you to touch me," Seth tells him, clear and bold.

Dean doesn't waste any time unbuckling his belt and opening his jeans. He slides them and his underwear down in one motion, his dick springing free. He slowly closes his hand around him and starts experimentally stroking over him. He can feel all the ridges and callouses on Dean's hand acutely, almost too much sensation to bear right where he's burning and hard and throbbing, and it's like every pleasure point in his body has ignited all at once.

He rubs his thumb in circles over the head and then along the vein on the underside and Seth lets out a shaky breath.

"That feel good?" Dean asks, voice low and soothing.

"Yeah, yeah, that's good," Seth tells him hoarsely. "Keep going. Harder."

He's starting to leak now and Dean uses the extra slickness to stroke him smoother and faster, his grip tightening slightly. It's like everything in the world disappears but the places where Dean's touching him. And he has a flash of Dean's strong, scarred, beautiful hands curled around a pool cue, and then his long, clever fingers drifting up the girl's bare thigh, and he's thinking about himself in her place, in the bar, where everyone can see them, and his blood feels hotter than it ever has — and then he's coming hard and sudden into Dean's hand, eyes squeezed shut tightly, a groan muffled into Dean's shoulder.

They stay there, wrapped together, breathing hard, for a few moments and then Dean gradually pulls away. Seth steps out of his jeans completely and tucks himself back into his underwear as Dean grabs a tissue to wipe his hand off and then tosses it into the trash.

Seth takes a couple moments to come back down, his heartbeat slowing, his shaky legs regaining their strength, and then he reaches out and tugs Dean in again. He kisses him slower now, less urgent, savouring all of it. He presses his lips to his jawline, his throat, everywhere he can reach, nipping at the sensitive skin a little, wanting him to remember this when he looks in the mirror tomorrow.

He reaches up and slides Dean's jacket off his shoulders and lets it fall onto the carpet. Then he rests his palm flat against his stomach and nudges him backwards a little. "Get on the bed."

"Mmm, _bossy_. I like it," Dean says with a smirk.

"Shut up," he says, but he's grinning back at him wolfishly.

Dean just kicks his shoes off and lets himself fall backwards onto his bed with a satisfied hum. Seth takes a breath, running his fingers through his hair, and then he follows him, slowly crawls on top of his body until his thighs are bracketing his hips and they're at the same eye-level. And then Dean clenches his hands into his hair, almost painfully, and pulls him down to kiss him, arching his spine up to get as much contact as possible between their bodies. It's messy and chaotic and limbs are getting in the way and they're still wearing too many damn clothes but god, the stupid romantic notions he has in his head don't matter one bit because it's _Dean_ and it's real and this is actually happening right now.

Dean reaches down and presses his fingers hard into his hips to pull him closer and Seth's body shifts on top of him and he feels Dean's hard dick suddenly twitch right under his ass and it makes his pulse race even faster. He reaches down between them and gently cups him through his jeans and then raises his head to look at him. "Wanna make you feel good," he tells him breathily, eyes hooded.

Dean looks up at him, his mouth parted and pupils blown wide with want, licks his lips as he nods at him. "Okay."

He eases himself down his body until he's straddling his thighs instead. He shoves his shirt up his torso, frustrated by the lack of bare skin when he wants to touch and taste everything, and he leans down and trails open-mouthed kisses down his stomach to the top of his jeans. 

He unbuttons his jeans when he gets there and tugs them off his legs. He peels his underwear away and they're already damp. He stares for a second, mouth going dry. He wraps a firm hand around the base of him and then leans down and tongues at the head, almost delicately, swirls his tongue around it, tasting him. Then he sucks the head into his mouth, getting used to the feeling. He pulls off for a second, takes a deep breath and then goes in for more. He hollows his cheeks out and swallows him as deep as he can, feeling the heat of him on his tongue as he works his mouth over him. 

Dean reaches down and brushes the hair gently back out of his face as he bobs his head back and forth over him. 

" _Fuck_ , where did you learn to do that," he says, voice rough, legs quivering a bit under him like he's having trouble keeping still. 

Seth thinks he's wanted to do this for a while, he just didn't realise. He thinks about those guys getting on their knees for Dean in a dirty bathroom stall in dive bars all over the country and he's angry it couldn't be him this whole time.

Dean's swearing with each stroke now, letting out sharp exhales as he builds to the climax, one hand gripping his hair tightly, the other fisted in the sheets next to them. 

He swallows him down even further when he knows he's really close, forcing his gag reflex away, and he feels him hit the back of his throat. He lets him slide halfway out of his mouth again, hand moving over the base of him faster now, and then Dean's entire body's tensing up and then all the tension's being released all at once and he's coming with a shuddering gasp and Seth just relaxes his throat and slowly swallows all of it down as he spills all over his tongue and inside his mouth.

" _Fuck_ ," Dean drawls out, eyelids fluttering, as the euphoric waves of release ripple through his entire body. 

Seth pulls off when he's done and just stares at him for a long moment like he can't believe he just did that. 

"Come here," Dean says impatiently and pulls him down on top of him and kisses him eagerly until it's hard to breathe. 

"That was really fucking hot," Dean says when they separate, skin still feverish and sweaty, one hand curled around his jaw, his mouth pressed to the top of his head, and Seth just laughs softly into his chest.

He rolls off of him heavily after a minute or two and then they're just lying next to each other in their underwear, boneless and exhausted, staring up at the ceiling. 

"God, I've wanted to do that _forever_ ," Seth exclaims, almost awed, when his mouth can form actual words again. 

"And how was it?" Dean asks, gazing across at him and he almost sounds strangely shy for the first time ever.

"Good," Seth promises him. " _So_ good. Better than I could've ever imagined."

"You know, you should've told me a long time ago," Dean says, deadpan. "Then I wouldn't have to waste my time flirting with random hot strangers in bars. You give better head than all of them anyway."

"You're such a fucking asshole," Seth says incredulously. 

"Yeah, but you're still attracted to me. So it says more about your shitty taste than anything —" 

"Fuck off." Seth shoves him in the side playfully but Dean expertly dodges any further onslaught and grabs him by the hips instead and pulls him back down on top of him into a long, deep kiss that's the best thing in the world despite his half-hearted struggling and protestations. He's really looking forward to all of their stupid fights ending just like this from now on.


End file.
